Dirty Talk
by ShinyAnn
Summary: In which Draco refuses to talk dirty.


_"Come on baby , open for me..."_

Harry chokes on his pumpkin juice, spewing out more than a mouthful of the orange liquid on an unsuspecting Draco.

"The fuck, Potter?" Malfoy yelps, jumping to his feet and spluttering, his once pristine white shirt now tainted with a rapidly spreading yellow stain.

Harry however is staring at the snack box on the table, the one Draco has been trying to open.

_oh, he was talking about the box, jesus christ, malfoy , are you trying to kill me?_

He takes a deep breath and offers a weak smile.

"I'm sorry... eh.. here.. let me.." He casually picks up the box , taps it twice against the table and the jostles the top off, handing the container full of green grapes to Draco.

Malfoy stares at the fruit and then at Harry.

"You are so fucking weird."

* * *

_"You are so fucking tight"_

Harry whirls around, heart pounding, because there cannot be a legitimate explanation for those obscene words. There absolutely cannot.

Except there is.

Malfoy is tugging on the buttons of his collar, muttering to himself as he follows Hermione and Ron to their next class.

He catches a glimpse of Harry gawking at him like an idiot and raises an eyebrow but Harry quickly scuttles away, heart pounding and pants uncomfortably tight.

Harry doesn't understand. He and Draco are friends. He has heard the blonde talk and chuckle and guffaw and groan for a long time but he has never ever been aware of how sexy he sounds. Or how much he used double entendres in his speech.

The best thing for his sanity, he decides, would be to avoid Malfoy for a while.

* * *

Hermione and Ron corner him at lunch.

"What is wrong with you?" Hermione demands, foot tapping impatiently on the stone floor, Harry's eyes flit about like a trapped animal, searching for an escape route.

"Me? Nothings wrong, why would something be wrong? I'm surprised you think somethings wrong." He says in a rush and Ron cackles.

"Then explain why you've been avoiding Draco for the past week?" Hermione raises an eyebrow.

"I haven't.. Why would I..."

"You do realize we're supposed to be _working together _for our final year project don't you?"

"Yes." Harry sighs , defeated.

* * *

After a round of apologies and assurances and counter assurances, Harry and Malfoy go back to being buddies and in a week Harry actually, almost forgets about his.. uh.. problem .

Except for the occasional physical brushes that leave him tingling and the occasdional smirk that gives him a hard on, he's fine. Honestly. Its not something so awful that he can't hide it from Draco , so he does just that.

Until the day they're assigned cleaning duties and Harry tries to clean a glass jar with a cloth. The dry surface of the jar and the fabric don't go well together and he has hard time cleaning.

Suddenly , though Malfoy's hot breath is brushing his ears and the blonde is pouring liquid soap into the jar.

"Here you go Harry, its easier to slide into when its wet..."

Harry promptly drops the jar which shatters to bits on their feet.

* * *

Their final year project which involves an extravagant display of their muggle culinary skills, is nothing short of a disaster. Ron eats most of the filling before Hermione can stuff anything with it and the mashed potatoes taste a lot like wet cement.

Harry has decided that he will not under any circumstances allow himself to think of Malfoy in a sexual fashion, because honestly, that's just silly. the poor silly blonde is obviously innocent and clueless; he has no idea that his words are being misconstrued by a perverted Harry and the poor thing cannot be blamed for his naivety.

Until they pull the pie out of the oven.

Draco shuffles over to Harry , holds out the baked pie and asks, with wide innocent eyes,

"Should I put a finger in first? Make sure its prepared and ready?"

Harry growls low in his throat and finally snaps.

He pulls Draco close and in front of all their horrified classmates, he kisses him senseless.

* * *

Later, in bed, Harry moans into Draco's ears , fingers splayed across the blonde's stomach as Draco nibbled on his shoulders.

"Talk dirty to me, baby..." Harry whispers, nipping at the boy's earlobes.

Suddenly he is pushed away and finds himself staring at an indignant Malfoy.

"Talk dirty? ewww... you fucking pervert.. I would _never..."_

Harry groans.

* * *

**A/N : Oh my God , I had so much fun writing this... ROFLMAO... Please let me know that you enjoyed it as much as I did... It would make me so much happier... :)))))**


End file.
